Dealing with Conflict

More and more we seem to be a society that is divisive.  As you'll read later in this edition of Monday in Ministry, the Synod is seriously addressing the issues of racism in our area.  Our nation continues to grapple with this, as seen in the horrors related to the shooting death in Florida of black teenager, Jordan Davis, by a white adult, Michael Dunn, after Davis allegedly refused to turn down what Dunn referred to as "thug music."

Much of the nation read with stunned disbelief the news that the Kansas House of Representatives recently passed a bill "allowing individuals and businesses with sincerely held religious beliefs to discriminate against same-(gender) couples without fear of lawsuits." (from the Huffington Post, emphasis added)  Some Christians apparently supported this legislation, while other Christians around the country clearly condemn what many see as hate laws such as this.

As I reflect and pray about the upcoming General Assembly of our Church, I'm aware anew that divisiveness is not just endemic in our secular society; it also is a part of the Church.  One would hope that such is not the case within the Body of Christ, but we all know it to be true.  Trust is threadbare.  Motives are suspect. Sincerity of faith is questioned.  Theological positions are ridiculed.

I find both hope and challenge in re-reading a document adopted by the 204th General Assembly (1992) for use in the Church.  It is called, "Seeking to be Faithful Together: Guidelines for Presbyterians During Times of Disagreement."  (The whole document can be found  here: www.pcusa.org/media/uploads/peacemaking/pdf/guidelines.pdf.)  Drawn from Biblical passages such as John 7:51, Proverbs 18:13, Ephesians 4:15, and Ephesians 4:3, the General Assembly asked the Church to observe the following 10 guidelines during times of disagreement and/or conflict:

1.     Treat each other respectfully so as to build trust, believing that we all desire to be faithful to Jesus the Christ.

2.     Learn about various positions on the topic of disagreement.

3.     State what we think we heard and ask for clarification before responding, in an effort to be sure we understand each other.

4.     Share our concerns directly with individuals or groups with whom we have disagreements in a spirit of love and respect in keeping with Jesus' teachings.

5.     Focus on ideas and suggestions instead of questioning people's motives, intelligence or integrity.

6.     Share our personal experiences about the subject of disagreement so that others may more faithfully understand our concerns.

7.     Indicate where we agree with those of other viewpoints as well as where we disagree.

8.     Seek to stay in community with each other though the discussion may be vigorous and full of tension.

9.     Follow these additional guidelines when we meet in decision-making bodies:

a.     promise to listen seriously to other viewpoints

b.     seek conclusions informed by our points of agreement

c.     be sensitive to the feelings of those who do not agree with the majority

d.     abide by the decision of the majority

10.  Include our disagreement in our prayers, not praying for the triumph of our viewpoints, but seeking God's grace to listen attentively, to speak clearly, and to remain open to the vision God holds for us all.

Reading through these, they seem pretty straightforward, pretty logical, pretty sound, pretty easy, don't they?  And that's true... until we find ourselves in the midst of serious disagreements.  Then it's easy for hurts and anger to reign, and divisiveness once again becomes the not-desired outcome.

Jesus still holds out for us a different way, a different model, a different path in which to walk.  And, who knows?  If we can learn more faithfully to live that way in the Church, it might even begin to spill over and impact our whole society.